We all develop routines.
I guess we like, at least, a few things in our lives that are predictable.
Disruption (even chaos, at times) has its place. But mostly, uncontained and for too long, it is unsustainable and counter-productive. Even what it reveals, largely serves the purpose of re-establishing a modified attempt to control for order. While some like chaos, more people like predictability.
Routines are one of the more simplistic ways we, as human beings, tend to use to achieve that. And, if you really stop and notice, the precision we end up introducing to establish and maintain them is really kind of…intoxicating. Once we really get going on them, we often, in fact, are pretty in love with what we’ve come up to make our lives get easier and easier.
I’m in on it, too. As a relatively minor, behavioral example, I always put my car keys in one particular pocket of my coat (even if I change coats). It helps me always know where my keys are, without having to think about it. I do this with my wallet, too. In fact, I do such things much more than I realize. It reduces the stress having to use energy to re-discover things that really don’t need to be re-discovered.
Ok, so what?
Drivers of our habits like predictability, efficiencies, stress-reduction can also not only be addictive, but reduce our capacity to remain open to things that may not make our personal routines list. When we become so committed to the outcomes they often produce, we can also easily become things like inflexible, narrow-minded, threatened, judgmental, and unaccepting (not only of different ways of doing things, but also of the people who do them…differently).
Our routines often end up reflecting our values. And, our values often translate to how we see people (not to mention how we treat them). Why do they have to be so different? A sentence often thought, if not heard. Heck, I’ve even thought such thoughts from time to time. But, invariably, a deeper concern often lurks underneath. I can too easily conclude that my routines are not just helpful for me; they are also…right.
It doesn’t take much to spot how problematic this can be.
For example, whenever my venue changes, I almost immediately have to start crafting the routines that would work best in that different context. It may be as simple as the weather and everything I’ve subconsciously organized to help my relationship with it adapt. When I’m in warm climates, I don’t keep track much of things like gloves or hats. In cold climates, I know right where they are…and my jackets are towards the front of where I keep them. But, for me to say that I locate things I use more because it is right to do so doesn’t necessarily follow.
And, yet, we do this quite a bit, don’t we?
“We always do this. Or, we always do this…that way. And, by the way, others should, too, because it is the right way to do it.” We want to feel this extra feature; that we do what we do, because it is right. It’s hard for us to stop even there, though. Not only should others do things the way we think they should, they should also think the right way. Oh, and, they should believe what we believe, too. And because they don’t, we somehow find a way to use that as justification for our view of what is right.
But, it is still rather conspicuous how quickly we are willing to change something, if our circumstances change. We adapt pretty quickly to our surroundings. To view it as right or wrong is a little arbitrary (if not downright silly). The ones who don’t easily recognize this are, more often than not, those whose situation really hasn’t changed very much.
Live in another country for a while and watch what happens to you — to your routines, to what you think. Maybe, even, to what you believe.
But, you really don’t have go that far; even a different part of this country, for a while, where all kinds of things are a little (or a lot) different.
At the very least, allow yourself to acknowledge that way more than you think you need to.
We often are a product of our routines, which we have developed because of the circumstances and environments we live in. So, stay mindful of them — what they are and what they are not.
