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What would you say defines a successful marriage?  

Is it longevity, happiness, friendship, depth of relationship?  How does time bear on that definition — does it mitigate it or enhance it?

Whatever it is, one thing that seems obvious is that it’s way more than simply someone’s (or, even a group's) idea of what it is.  It’s an actual relationship — not a conceptual one, an actual one.

Having now been married for 39 years, I can say that (in some ways, like many relationships) it covers a lot terrain.  There are many highs and lows (not just one or two).  The terrain is vast.  There are many patterns — some are highly perceived, some are not.  There is both something constant and something evolving.  Some familiar and something imminently new.

So, what makes the relationship of marriage persist?

If nothing else, I would say commitment.  Many things, of course, impact that.  Sure, what I get out of it is always in play.  But, in the end, it is my willingness to stay committed to Tami's good that keeps me in my relationship with her.

As she and I reflect on it, we feel very aware of what that commitment has yielded.  Sure, we still get into skirmishes with each other.  They are uncomfortable; we don't like them.  But, something has grown strong enough because of the length and depth of our commitment, that we aren't ultimately threatened by them (even when, in the moment, we feel like we are).

We are very grateful for these yields — the many things we do together and enjoy together, the things we have discovered together, the things we respect and and admire about each other, the friendships we've built (and lost), the beauty of our children (and now their children) and our relationships with them.  The list goes on and on.

In many ways, we each feel like our lives are continuing to expand and grow, both independently and together.  With even just a little distance (for perspective), we marvel at that, are grateful for it, and want to keep on...staying committed to loving each other.

So, before this all sounds a little too self-congratulatory, perhaps more than anything else, a lot of grace…makes a marriage persist. 

Collective Illusions

What Is Happening In America

I've told myself, I'm going to stop adding this kind of stuff (something about my and our collective can't-look-away interest just keeps this beast alive).  

But, I can't just sit here and watch it happen (even if that is exactly what I am doing).  Am I sliding down the slippery slope of paranoia?  Maybe. I wouldn’t be the first one.

Despite its name, the Department of Government Efficiency is not, so far, primarily interested in efficiency. DOGE and its boss, Elon Musk, have instead focused their activity on the eradication of the federal civil service, along with its culture and values, and its replacement with something different. In other words: regime change.

No one should be surprised or insulted by this phrase, because this is exactly what Trump and many who support him have long desired. During his 2024 campaign, Trump spoke of Election Day as “Liberation Day,” a moment when, in his words, “vermin” and “radical left lunatics” would be eliminated from public life. J. D. Vance has said that Trump should “fire every single mid-level bureaucrat, every civil servant in the administrative state, replace them with our people.” Steve Bannon prefers to talk about the “deconstruction of the administrative state,” but that amounts to the same thing.  Continue...here.

-- Anne Applebaun

...or, a coup.

Trump knows the fastest way to dismantle America is to just delete it

He thinks it's working, too:

Trump's split screen: Orchestration amid chaos

Might as well go for it, then — the press is next:

Why Trump targets AP

Don't act so shocked (I don’t think we know the half of it) — but, he told us a hundred (more like a 1000) times what he was going to do:

How Trump’s Directives Echo Project 2025

Really makes you wonder what the end-game really is...seems pretty clear, though, doesn't it?

Trump signs order to claim power over independent agencies

He wants to be the king (executive order — just the modern word for decrees).  He's trying to take over the country by ripping it apart and Republicans are just letting him do it (all nominees confirmed so far).

Aw, c'mon, it's not THAT bad, right?

You have seen this J. D. Vance video, right?  I think the intentions are pretty clear, well-document, and highly underway.

Forget Bonhoeffer. This is the Niemöller Moment

Maybe more of this will help me (climb back out of the hole of despair)...and you:

10 Ws

What You Think About

What do you think about day and night for your character and personality.

-- Masami Saionji

Clarity

Many people think they lack motivation when what they really lack is clarity. It is not always obvious when and where to take action. Some people spend their entire lives waiting for the time to be right to make an improvement.

-- James Clear

Collectively

I'm wondering...if we're going to make it collectively, when we all seem so focused on self-interest that we don't really know what all is being ripped from the structures all around us.  

Unfortunately, "I wished I had known..." won't help very much when that becomes even more obvious.  They are predicting and banking on us just not paying attention.

How far we seem to have come from the simplicity of telling the truth, reflected on this Presidents Day history.

Woke

The silliness here isn’t quite as funny against this backdrop… as the other crowd that has formed appears  behind the guy in the red hat.

3 Observations & A Question

Keep your spirit clear; keep your mind clear — including what muddies your waters.

Something in us, at the surface level, seems attracted to controversy — so, we have to learn how to go below the surface.

When we speak with venom, it usually comes from a source of pain.

Are you aware of the things that strengthen you? What about the things that weaken you?

Prior 3 Observations & A Question….

Tenacious Adventure

Love is a tenacious adventure.

-- Alain Badiou

It requires courage and fortitude...continue here.

Annoyed

Don't you ever get tired of how annoyed you are?

OK, so maybe we should just be a little more honest — there are things about other people that are at the very least annoying, especially the more we get to know them. But, that’s hardly the point, is it?  

Because there are also many things, about other people, that are fascinating and inspiring and attractive…and worth loving. No one ever said it would be just one or the other.…just like that’s not the case with yourself.

It’s not too hard to fantasize about all the hassles that could be avoided by not having to live around other people.  But it is also true that significant parts of you would not only be underdeveloped, but also deformed without the benefits of engagement with other people (hassles included).  What, for example, would you know about love? What about the enjoyment of things that you simply can’t create exclusively from yourself?  What about the beauty and joy related to the nature of harmony?  

Being annoyed is allowed. But, despite the current popularity of righteous-indignation, just don't let things like annoyance and controversy become the primary food-groups of your daily emotional, psychological diet.

People are a hassle sometimes.  So am I (you, too, by the way...).  That's not the point.

Fiction

More fiction has been told in Microsoft Excel than in books.

-- Shane Parrish

Sometimes

Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn.

-- John Maxwell

Acknowledge My Fears

I’ve noticed…that I tend to not acknowledge my fears.

…likely a strategy to protect something for me — but, if unaware, more likely empowering them.

Humility & Love

Working for justice can become a way to justify ourselves before God. If we are not careful, the good work we give ourselves to can become another idol that takes the rightful place of Jesus. We must be on guard against the temptation to establish an identity outside of the love of God in Christ.  

If we don’t live from the center of God’s love, working for justice can be just another creative way to meet the unrelenting needs of our egos. When that happens, the work for justice is no longer about the poor and mistreated but about our own unmet needs.  

We work for justice not because it justifies us; rather, because we’ve been justified, we work for justice. We are called to work with urgency, knowing that the needs are great, and also with patience, convinced that God is near. We pour ourselves out in love because this is how Christ longs to live through us, but we recognize our limitations. We seek the peace of our cities and towns because we are called to be salt and light, and we confess that only Jesus will make all things new. 

To have a good, beautiful, and kind life—one formed by love—requires us to extend our faith beyond the borders of our private emotional and spiritual concerns. We are called into a larger story, one characterized by participation in God’s kingdom. It’s the kind of participation that drives out passivity.  

When Jesus taught his disciples to pray, he instructed them to say, “Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven” (Matthew 6:10). Is that not love? Is that not justice? To pray these words is not to passively say, “Lord, there’s nothing we can do, so please fix this world.” Rather, the Lord’s Prayer calls us to say, “Lord, there’s so much we can do, but only ever in your power.”  

-- Pastor Rich Villodas

Not Funny, but…

..a little.laughter can be medicinal sometimes.

3 Observations & A Question

You could see this coming a mile away…unless you just didn’t want to.

We tend to forget a lot of stuff, but usually not the stuff we’ve taken personally.

Your daily regimen needs to include other people — for your own sake.

Is there anything more courageous (and valuable) than asking for help — especially, considering the alternative?

Prior 3 Observations & A Question….

Fix Three Broken Things

Seneca pointed out that people tend to be reflexively stingy with their money, but almost comically wasteful with their time.

There are at least two ways to take this. One is that Seneca thought he used his time better than you and I do, and maybe he did. Another interpretation is that everyday life, for most people, is an untapped gold mine. Certain undone tasks represent huge gains, waiting just a short time away, behind one session of elbow grease. Even ten or fifteen minutes of directed effort, judiciously applied, can improve your life far more than the wages you earn for the same period.

This principle is most obvious when you use that time to fix a broken thing. The broken things in our lives are constantly charging interest. They feel bad to use, or even to witness, and they never run out of bad feeling to impart. Trying to use a pen that barely writes or a vacuum cleaner with poor suction is awful, even if it’s a small-scale awfulness.

Brokenness takes many forms. Continue here....

-- David Cain, Raptitude

The Rules

Injustice makes the rules, an courage breaks them.

-- Ursula K. La Guin

Your Commitment

Most good things require YOUR commitment. 

Most of us spend much of our time on what amounts to be two basic sets of illusions — our insecurities and our pleasures.

Too often there really isn’t much time left for the true and good things that remain and that need our attention.  Their goodness needs to be manifest.  Otherwise, they simply sit, almost as if waiting to be attended to, without much effect for the benefit of our broader existence.

There comes a point when we realize that there really isn’t that much more we can do for ourselves without sharing with others.

They need you and you need them (despite what we've been taught).  The inconveniences of this reality are mostly arbitrary (exceptions?  Of course.).

Wealth is not really ours anyway — we did not, in fact, generate the better part of it. I may have worked at it (even pretty hard) and it may have even grown under my watch and care, but I did not create it, start to finish, all by myself.

So, what are YOU giving to the world?  Because, before we know it, that question will change...to what we gave — not nearly as much about what we took (consumed) or accumulated.

What are you committed to?

Something Bigger

Energy can motivate, but it takes belief in something bigger to inspire.

-- Simon Sinek

Lack Confidence

Ever noticed...how we’re not big fans of people who lack confidence?

…that we honor humility in retrospect way more than along the way?

I’m not saying that humility and confidence are automatically in conflict with each other (in fact, I can imagine how they could be quite complementary).  But, too often they are…

Elon Musk now has access to your SSN

On Friday, Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent granted Elon Musk and members of his DOGE team access to a system responsible for trillions of dollars in government payments, including Social Security checks and tax refunds.  Continue here....

-- Dave Lozo

The replacement of our constitutional system of government with the whims of an unelected private citizen is a coup. The U.S. president has no authority to cut programs created and funded by Congress, and a private citizen tapped by a president has even less standing to try anything so radical.  Continue here....

-- Heather Cox Richardson

Neighbor Is Not

Neighbor is not a geographic term, it is a moral concept.

-- Joachim Prinz

4 Observations (from Others)

Culture and popular opinion lead us to believe that happiness can be bought, that more is always better, and that success carries more weight than integrity.

-- Joel Owen 

I learned the lesson that great men cultivate love, and that only little men cherish a spirit of hatred. I learned that assistance given to the weak makes the one who gives it strong; and that oppression of the unfortunate makes one weak.

-- Booker T. Washington

Intolerance is the first sign of an inadequate education. An ill-educated person behaves with arrogant impatience, whereas truly profound education breeds humility.

-- Alexander Solzhenitsyn

It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences.

-- Audre Lorde

Prior 4 Observations (from Others).

Acceptance

'Poem for the week' -- "Acceptance":   

Yesterday it was still January and I drove home

and the roads were wet and the fields were wet

and a palette knife

had spread a slab of dark blue forestry across the hill.

A splashed white van appeared from a side road

then turned off and I drove on into the drab morning

which was mudded and plain and there was a kind of weary happiness

that nothing was trying to be anything much and nothing

was being suggested. I don’t know how else to explain

the calm of this grey wetness with hardly a glimmer of light or life,

only my car tyres swishing the lying water,

and the crows balanced and rocking on the windy lines.

-- Kerry Hardie

Destabilization & Chaos

Efforts to undermine public confidence in proven cures are not just uninformed—they’re dangerous. Anyone seeking the Senate’s consent to serve in the incoming administration would do well to steer clear of even the appearance of association with such efforts.

-- Mitch McConnell, a polio survivor

If it's not apparent by now, there should be little doubt about the intentions involved in the nominations of government leaders (Secretaries, no less).  Destabilization and chaos are among the goals and the whole political machinery appears nearly impotent to stop them.  Unfortunately, this isn't particularly news, for those who have been paying attention.  But, now, the bold-facedness of it is in full unbridled view.

We can't have completely unqualified people (character and experience), like Robert F. Kennedy Jr., running our country (I know, that's exactly how some feel about the more 'qualified', but seriously...these people have no idea what is really involved in these positions).

Why does it seem like only women are speaking up here?  Are all the men not paying attention or they just hiding?

Maybe this is why:

Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth takes away Gen. Mark Milley's security clearance, detail

Loyality screenings are just euphemism for threats — apparently fear is alive and well.  

When you worship power, compassion and mercy will look like sins.

-- Benjamin Cremer

Practicing An Art

Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven's sake.

-- Kurt Vonnegut

Connect The Dots

The hallmark of expertise is no longer how much you know. It’s how well you synthesize.

Information scarcity rewarded knowledge acquisition. Information abundance requires pattern recognition. 

It’s not enough to connect facts. The future belongs to those who connect dots.

-- Adam Grant

Entertaining Ourselves

I'm wondering...if we are entertaining ourselves to death.

Are we so focused on our endless distractions and amusements that we are paying no real attention to what is actually happening in our lives?

How does spectating so much of our time affect the very viability of our existence, personally and collectively?

It is what we do and offer of ourselves that keeps us alive to life.

Jesuit Prayer

Holy One, you are our comfort and strength

in times of sudden disaster, crisis, or chaos.

Surround us now with your grace and peace

through storm or earthquake, fire or flood.

By your Spirit, lift up those who have fallen,

sustain those who work to rescue or rebuild,

and fill us with the hope of your new creation;

through you, our rock and redeemer.

-- Jesuit Prayer

A prayer for mercy, to the one who has the true power to give it...seems eerily à propos.

3 Observations & A Question

In time, you notice it’s how it makes you feel that, more often than not, determines what you choose to do (or not do).

How we see things most influences how we do things.

You either want feedback...or you don’t.

Are you stepping forward (leaning in) or back (withdrawing)?

Prior 3 Observations & A Question….

Political Ideology

 

 GALLUP - Front Page

On The Lighter Side: Coffee

On the Lighter Side:

Don’t Let It Be You

There will always be someone who can't see your worth.  Don't let it be you.

-- Mel Robbins

Trump Pardons Jan. 6 Rioters

President Trump pardoned on Monday nearly all of the 1,500 people charged in connection with the Jan. 6, 2021, attack on the Capitol, hours after outgoing President Joe Biden immunized from prosecution family members and other potential targets of the incoming administration.

Trump’s sweeping clemency delivered on his polarizing campaign pledge to pardon supporters who joined in what federal judges and prosecutors have called an attack on American democracy.

The new president made the announcement after arriving at the White House, effectively wiping away four years of prosecutions, including more than 1,100 convictions in what Justice Department officials have described as the largest investigation in U.S. history. While pardoning virtually all of those charged, Trump commuted the sentences of more than a dozen others.  Continue here....

-- WSJ, Catherine Lucey, Ken Thomas, C. Ryan Barber

By the way, you probably know who this pardonee is; here is his response:

“NOW I AM GONNA BY SOME MOTHA FU*KIN GUNS!!! I LOVE THIS COUNTRY!!! GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!!” he continued. “J6ers are getting released & JUSTICE HAS COME… EVERYTHING done in the dark WILL come to light!”

-- Jacob Chansley, QAnon shaman

Also, Trump pardons founder of Silk Road drug site

...so much for law and order.  And, no, no, no...don't do the whataboutism thing either.  It's not the same thing...more here.

As has happened before, "you wanted a king"...(modern version:  Imperialism, item 7).

Lot's of related opinion, of course (here's one by Ali Breland and another from Lisa Murkowski); not to mention overt fear.  Apparently, we going to need means of preserving the truth, too; so, here's Adam Kinzinger's perspective.

The only silver-lining I could envision is the pace, volume, and depth of all that is going on will wake us up to the wrongness of it all…but, that clearly hasn’t done it so far.

Where his intimidation doesn’t work, Trump (or, the ideologues behind him) is trusting our collective attention span (or lack of it) to effectively just capitulate...he doesn't think we will be able to keep up with keeping track.

Preparing Ourselves

Neither Warren nor I are smart enough to make decisions with no time to think. We make actual decisions very rapidly, but that's because we have spent so much time preparing ourselves by quietly reading.

-- Charlie Munger, on preparation

MLK Day: Love

It's hard to not to notice the juxtaposition of two significant things today (the designated Martin Luther King, Jr. Day holiday and the Inauguration Day of Napoleon — you know, the one who wants to change the name of the Gulf of Mexico, take over the Panama Canal, Greenland, and Canada (but, he's just kidding, right?). 

As they always are, our times are surely in need of more love...than more 'greatness'.  May we have more of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr's kind:

 

Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.

-- Martin Luther King, Jr.

What is needed is a realization that power without love is reckless and abusive, and that love without power is sentimental and anemic.

-- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Love is creative and redemptive. Love builds up and unites; hate tears down and destroys. The aftermath of the "fight with fire' method ... is bitterness and chaos, the aftermath of the love method is reconciliation and creation of the beloved community... Yes, love — which means understanding, creative, redemptive goodwill, even for one's enemies — is the solution.

-- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Maybe the posture of this prayer by Nadia Bolz-Weber would help, too.

Too Seriously

If you cannot afford to take one day a week for rest, you are taking yourself too seriously.

-- Eugene Peterson

Let God nourish you by giving God the space of your attention. 

Does that seem an odd way to describe the call of Sabbath? But, what if that was God's intent all along...a time for God to nourish you?

Burrrrrrrr!

AXIOS

Looking like December 2022....

3 Observations & A Question

Generally speaking, as we get older, it seems to become easier to reject things than it does to accept them.

Justice (what), Mercy (who), Humility (how) — the real hallmarks of shared existence.

Who am I? is sometimes best answered when other people are saying you’re not who you should be. 

What if you are no better than the story you’ve developed about yourself — what’s the real story then?

Prior 3 Observations & A Question….

Biden warns that an oligarchy is taking hold in America. There is data to back him up.

MarketWatch

He's not the only one....

And, why is that women seem to be the only ones asking these people decent (if not good) questions (thank you, Tammy Duckworth...continue with David Brooks' astute observations on the Hegseth debacle here)?.  Do we really not care whether a pilot is experientially qualified to fly the plane we're on or whether a doctor doing surgery on us has any qualifications or experience?  Ah, but that's different from being the Secretary of Defense of the United States of America; is it though?  

Simply claiming that 'I believe in Jesus now' doesn't make one qualified either (for any of these jobs).

Trump's first week: The Real Story

It's hard to get people to pay attention to anything. If you aren't breaking news, if you're not offering a new analytical or conceptual framework, you're just writing stuff, and the market for stuff is gone.

-- Jim VandeHei, AXIOS

Pete Buttigieg's Farewell Address at Secretary of Transportation

Ideas & Action

As tempting as it may seem not to require it, action must be informed.

In and of itself, action may have affect, but not necessarily a desired one.

Action too easily can simply becoming activity, without much efficacy. It needs to be informed, so that the quality of the action can have the substance that is needed to prevail against what otherwise are simply just other ideas.

On the other hand, being informed is simply not enough for what is needed. Ideas can (technically) exist, but to no real avail without some form of implementation or action.

The battles of our time, unfortunately, seem content with simply the disputes of ideas. But, ideas themselves do not change much without an attending and corresponding action that embodies them. We can talk all day, but it doesn’t really matter that much who is right or wrong if there is no practical utilization of them.

It has been observed that ideas have power. But, their power comes in the form of agency — without agency they largely just float around in the atmosphere ...without much impact.

It is the actionability of ideas which impacts the true quality of them.

We need the quality of both, especially right now where there is so much talk and so little action...not to mention the truth that should inform them.

What We Ought

Freedom consists not in doing what we like, but in having the right to do what we ought.

-- Pope John Paul II

Fight Their Nature

The most successful people don't fight their nature. They architect their environment to amplify it.

Stop asking: "How do I fix myself?" Start asking: "How do I position myself where my natural traits are assets?"

-- Shane Parrish

Truth Wherever It Is

I've noticed...that I’m interested in truth wherever it is, and less and less based on the surrounding ideology that claims it has the corner on it.

Salt vs Power

The great temptation of Christianity has always been to think that if we were in control, if we had power, we would “win,” but that’s exactly what Jesus warns us against. In Matthew’s Gospel Jesus tells us to be salt—not the meat, the potatoes, or even the vegetables—just the invisible but very effective salt. Salt is what gives zing and taste to food and Jesus is calling us to be people who give purpose, meaning, and desire to life. If we look at the history of Christianity, whenever we were “in charge,” that’s when we became the most corrupt. Christianity operates best in a resistance position, in a position where we can discern and choose how to be salt, how to be light.  

Likewise, the metaphor of light as Jesus uses it here is not controlling or forceful. As Alcoholics Anonymous says, it’s not moving forward by self-promotion, but by attraction. Just set the light on the lampstand and if it’s good, and if it’s real, and if it’s beautiful, people will come. This is very different than what we expect. We basically think we can only move the world by being in control. Yet both of the images that Jesus offers here warn us against wanting to be in control.  

That is so contrary to our common sense. We think “If only we had the power, if only we had the majority, we could create the kingdom of God,” but it’s never been true. I know from my years of traveling that when Christians are a minority in a country, and they have to choose and decide to be the salt of the earth, to be light on a lampstand, they make a real difference.  

Jesus calls us to give the world taste, meaning, purpose, direction, desire. It’s a humble position, isn’t it? We’d much sooner be in charge. But whenever someone or something has all the power, they mostly misuse power. Jesus warns us against power, because very few people can handle it. Most of us use it for our own aggrandizement, our own promotion and advancement in the ways of the world, which usually means more money and more power.  

Either we learn how to be the salt of the earth, a true alternative to the normal motivations and actions of society, or as Jesus put it very clearly, we might as well throw it out and trample it underfoot. We have to find our inner authority through Christ in us; we have to find our purpose in our love of God and neighbor, and actions of mercy and justice. Otherwise, we’re not offering anything that the world doesn’t already have or can’t find in other places.

-- Richard Rohr, on Matthew 5:13–16

3 Observations & A Question

Our fears are often irrational — so, now that we’ve cleared that up….

You need to know what centers you and how to maintain being grounded.

For my overall health, I'm slowing recognizing that removing distractions from my life is not optional.

Both are wealthy, but does it seem like Donald Trump and Elon Musk are the same kind of people as Warren Buffet and Charlie Munger...or Jimmy Carter?

Prior 3 Observations & A Question….

Gulf of America?

One of the more benign incredulities this week (but, we're just used to it now, right?):

 

Morning Brew

Becoming Who We Are

What do you do when you realize people's perceptions of you aren't what you want them to be? What if that is most palpable when they say you're not who you should be?

Both seem to escalate our interest in identifying who we are.

So, why then does becoming who we are seem to actually scare us more than inspire us?

Sometimes, it seems like it’s almost easier to try to be someone else, than it is to be ourselves. Perhaps, that is because this strategy appears to give us the option with less consequence when we can't pull it off. In other words, if I’m not able to be someone else, then what is the real consequence of that? I’m just…not them (which everyone else already knew). But, if I try to be more fully who I am, and somehow fail (whatever form that takes), the implications somehow seem far more significant.

Most of this, of course, is imagined in our minds much more than it is true in reality. And, certainly, we have encountered people who are genuine and authentic and just, as we say, “who they are”. These people seem free and simultaneously attract something in us…something we desire to be.

While we might mistake this as wanting to be like them, I think what we are really engaging is our innate desire to be free ourselves.

One aspect of discovering and being who we really are is related to the ideas, in general, that we have about becoming something. For example, what do we do with the idea that we have to become something in the first place?

I suspect the question here is influenced by many of the religious sensibilities that we have accumulated, especially about our need to become 'more like Christ', which is often juxtaposed as something unique or different. This version of our becoming is often predicated on another religious feature that seems to emphasize the inherent badness (wretchedness) of who we are, and therefore sets up what I think is a false-binary that, rather than becoming ourselves, we need to become more like Christ.

But, this bifurcation sets a couple things in motion that are hard to bind together, in the end. And, because of this, it seems to result in divergent directions, including the requirement to hold more deeply to one or the other (rather than to both). My sense, at this point, is that the two are not really incompatible at all. In other words, I become more of who I truly am because of who Christ has made me to be.

Whatever layers I’ve added on to the equation about the badness of who I am, and the need to conform that to something other than me (like Christ) is predicated on key notions related to our starting points. If my starting point is that I am bad, then one could see how self-actualization is a problem. But, I think most religious traditions themselves even support the notion that I need to be who I am inherently because of who I am in Christ — the image of God in me. And, therefore, it seems more consistent to recognize, in that frame, that my ultimate aim is to become more aware of what the image of God, that I represent, is including the shape that takes in the uniqueness of me as a person.

It is in this context that I feel the most comfortable with the notion of increasingly becoming aware of who I am, including the ever-increasing discovery of the unique manifestation that is of me. This, in fact, would seem to enable the most capacity to set me free — to be who I am and to offer more of who I am to the world around me.

After all, when we see others doing (being) this somehow, we almost universally recognize what is happening.

Everything in nature invites us constantly to be what we are.

-- Gretel Ehrlich