Another lingering reflection, on a recent observation:
It is strangely observable that there is nearly always an appeal to look at things through a lens of victimhood.
Perhaps, this is because there is an element of truth about it that is nearly universal. But, when it becomes the constant state of the lens of our perception, something is wrong about it.
The question, at the end of the day, really isn’t as much about whether or not I’ve been victimized, as it is about why, if I remain in a victimized state. There is a magnetic quality about it to be sure. But, to remain in it, and to nurture it (even unwittingly), is problematic.
No one is saying being a victim is easy, especially when it has actually happened. But, it's how we respond that is important. Lots of bad (even terrible) things happen (because of our choices, other people's choices, happenstance, etc.). What is notable is what seems to be involved by those who have found ways to rise above those things.
As enticing as it may seem, boot-strapping is not the real answer. It seems to be closer to something in the realm of mindset. And, there are multiple things that seem to contribute to the kind of mindset that allows for the possibility of overcoming things that have happened to us.
We need to know what those things are. We need to immerse ourselves in them. We have to want to grow, to recover, to avoid slipping into the easy and widely available morass of "I can't...because of what someone else did...".
We have to take ownership of our lives, make good choices, including submitting to things that can help us. We can stay victims and simply validate that state by finding other people who reinforce our victimhood with their own. But, that really doesn't serve much for us (or them).
I'm facing some things that are hard for me right now. I feel the temptation to blame, to claim unfairness.
Or...
...I can be humble, open, honest, seek advice, ask hard questions, learn, take steps, grow, walk towards the difficulty, believe that there is more than what I might lose...that I could gain.
I may have been a victim in one way or another, but I don't need to stay one.