As I write early this morning, my daughter is having a baby...maybe even right this minute.
Last night, waiting for things to more fully kick into gear, I walked around the hospital looking for the typical things you look for when you're killing time in a hospital (coffee and candy).
I ran across a little room called a Clarity Chapel. I was intrigued. It didn't strike me as terribly different than other hospital chapels I've seen, but there were a few unique things — enough to get me thinking...about clarity.
What is clarity, after all? Why does it seem to resonate easily with us that clarity is almost a universal desire (when we're sober enough to acknowledge it). And, it does seem a bit hard to deny that spirituality seems to appeal to that desire.
In a hospital, the situations often involved seem to beg for clarity. Whether death (or the threat of it) or birth, we often are face-to-face with something that we desperately want — understanding of what is happening. Even if we're not religious, prayer is often closer to our consciousness as we encounter the reality of how out of control we feel. Hospitals recognize this and consider it an important component in the care they offer.
In our case, the breaking of your daughters 'water', engaged our clarity spectrum immediately. All that has been anticipated for months was now on high alert. Something has started that won't be reversed and that will have a result in fairly short order. We came to be with her for this time, knowing it was going to happen soon. But, now, there were no further questions about when, how much longer, etc. It was happening...NOW. It was perfectly clear what needed to happen next and we got busy about it.
And, this, seemed to only usher in the next version of clarity we want. How will it go? How long? Will there be complications? Will everyone be OK? We really want to know. There is my version, having gone through it with my wife. But, that was mostly observational (as a man). There is the experiential version of actually giving birth (which I deeply admire and still have a hard time fathoming). And, then, there is another version of this happening for your own daughter. Similar, but different.
Mostly, for each of us, all we can really do is simply go through it, accepting the next thing as it comes...fully aware of both the fright and the wonder of the whole thing.
Clarity, along the way, is something we desire in a mode that we believe will clear things up by having it. But, often, clarity is only really achieved because we went through it. There was the focus it required in the moment and there is the understanding that is realized in retrospect. Both are kinds of clarity.
I'm (anxiously) waiting for an update. My wife is in the delivery room with my daughter, helping in all the ways that only a mother can. My daughter is actually doing this unbelievable thing. Her husband is trying to figure out how to simultaneously encourage her and stay out of the way. And, our new grandson largely doesn't know what the heck is going on.
We're all primarily aware of only one thing right now, because of clarity about what is happening to us today.
