Being hard on oneself can be far less virtuous than it is simply self-protective.
Over the course of one's life, becoming increasingly certain is probably OK (maybe even good), IF it’s about just a few things.
Unfortunately, sometimes we're forced to make decisions simply based on the greater good or the lesser evil.
At the end of the day, don't we just have to accept another person for who they are... rather than who we want them to be?
