Submission To Another's Opinions & Viewpoints

To be accountable means that we are willing to be responsible to another person for our behavior and it implies a level of submission to another's opinions and viewpoints.

-- Wayde Goodall

To put it differently, what does it mean when I am unwilling to submit to the possibility that other people's opinions and viewpoints have some validity?

What, in fact, is it that would make me even wish for this not to be true?  Does such unwillingness somehow validate my own?  After all, how would my viewpoints even be compromised by someone else's?

Why does making such judgments feel so useful?  Who even asked me to judge?  But, without such submission, I unwittingly do so.

It's Armor

Instagram: brenebrown

It's not fear that gets in the way of showing up—it's armor.  It's the behaviors we use to self-protect.  We can be afraid and brave at the same time.

But the armor suffocates courage and cages our hearts.  The goal is to create spaces where armor is neither necessary or rewarded.

-- Brené Brown

LT: As Much About

Leadership is as much about learning as it is about teaching.

-- Rich Sheridan

Since leadership implicitly involves people, it would follow that little of it could be done without being open (willing to learn) to who they are.

From A Distance

I’ve noticed...it is hard to be human from a distance.

Relating seems to almost require proximity.

Visual: Spaces

Visual - "Spaces"

Christ Church Cathedral - Indianapolis, IN

I like this title because I sense that something new is happening in old places.

Perhaps, that's because of the space that has been created in them, for things to be re-done, or reborn, with different people.  Space is often necessary for such things.

I’m seeing and hearing about these kinds of changing spaces (like the one shown above or this one - SBCC) developing in a variety of ways all over the country, as faith is being reclaimed and discovered anew by old and new people alike.

The Spiderman Paradox

The Spiderman Paradox

On one hand, Uncle Ben’s rule makes great sense: “With great power comes great responsibility.”

The essence of the rule is that once you have great power, you need to take the responsibility that goes with it.

And yet, it’s backfiring.

It’s backfiring because so many walk away from their great power. They walk away because they don’t want the responsibility.

We have the power to vote, but decide to stay home and whine.

The power to publish, but click instead.

The power to lead, but follow meekly.

The power to innovate, but ask for rules of thumb instead.

The power to lend a hand, but walk away.

Most people watch videos, they don’t make them. Most people read tweets, they don’t write them. Most people walk away from the chance to lead online and off, in our virtual communities and with the people down the street.

In a democracy, we each have more power to speak up and to connect than we imagine. But most people don’t publish their best work or seek to organize people who care. Most of the time, it’s far easier to avert our eyes or blame the system or the tech or the dominant power structure.

There are millions who insist we’d be better off with a monarchy. The main reason: what happens after that is no longer their responsibility. Go work for the man, it saves you from having to be responsible.

When the local business disappears, it’s because we didn’t shop there. When the local arts program fades away, it’s because we watched Netflix instead. And when the local school persists in churning out barely competent cogs for the industrial system, it’s because we didn’t speak up.

Culture is what we build, and that’s powerful.

-- Seth Godin

33

As I reflect today on another year, now 33 of marriage to Tami, I am a bit overcome.

Collecting reflections on this in recent years has made me recognize a bit more of what all is happening through this experience together.

What a deep beauty is the kind of acceptance we have learned—an acceptance both of ourselves and of each other.  Even more resonant is the opportunity each of us has been given to grow—to not only be who we are, but also to change.  I am so excited about the growth I see in Tami and how that has en-couraged growth in me.

It is sometimes easier to see such things in another than it is in oneself.  But, the mere likelihood that what happens in another is also happening in me is more than enough.  I am so grateful that we have learned to trust this more and more.  And, as a result, I can hardly wait to continue growing...together.

With such deep affection for you, Tami.

Frequent Interactions

Close relationships only thrive when you have time for frequent interactions. 

-- Brian de Haaff

Cases Against

It's easier to build cases against people when you're not in relationship with them.

Even more powerful are the number of ways the opposite is true.

LT: Advance A Vision

A boss tells people what they can do to achieve a goal. A leader asks people what they can do to advance a vision.
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-- Simon Sinek

For vs Against

I've noticed...groups often start around something in common that they’re working against. But, they stay together when they continue at something in common that they’re working for.

Fully Human

Humanity now needs a Jesus who is historical, relevant for real life, physical and concrete, like we are. A Jesus we can imitate in practical ways and who sets the bar for what it means to be fully human.

-- Richard Rohr

How modern life gets in the way of sleep

Up to 30% of people in developed countries now suffer from chronic insomnia. How did we get so sick and tired?

We evolved on a rotating planet, with regular patterns of light and dark exposure, and our biology is set up to work with this cycle. Our kidneys produce less urine, our body temperature is lower and our immune systems are less capable of fighting off foreign invaders at night. During the day, blood pressure rises, hunger hormones kick in and our brains shift into a higher gear. These daily fluctuations in our biology are called circadian rhythms, and they dictate when we feel sleepy.

For most of human history, we slept at night and were more active during the day. 

These same studies have found that, on average, people from traditional societies go to bed and wake up several hours earlier than we do in developed countries. Not only do they sleep earlier than us, they also seem to sleep better. Between 10 and 30% of people in developed countries experience chronic insomnia, whereas just 1.5% of Hadza people (Tanzania), and 2.5% of San people (Namibia) say they regularly have problems falling or staying asleep. Neither group has a word for “insomnia” in their language.  Continue here....

-- Linda Geddes

In Blackwater Woods

'Poem for the week' -- "In Blackwater Woods":

From the poem:

to live in this world
you must be able to do
three things:

to love what is mortal;
to hold it against your bones
knowing your own life depends on it;

and, when the time comes to let it
go,
to let it go.

-- Mary Oliver

Outward & Forward

The nature of life has an assumed direction embedded in it—outward.

And the arc of that outwardness is forward.

The only way out of something is forward.  Mining the past is a diversion of energy.  Though it can be highly informative, even helpful at times, trying to stay there is a waste.  What we do now is motivated by what compels us to move forward.

History seems to have an inertia to it—holding on to the past just inhibits the natural flow of things.  Each generation indicates this very thing to the prior one through both what it rejects and what it accepts.

We tap into our outward energy by engaging the relationship between what is and what can be—to what calls us forward, to what we can do to nudge things closer to how things should be.

As Much As We Give It

Instagram: bobgoff

Fear only has as much power as we give it; hope works the same way.

-- Bob Goff

Sound familiar?

Do not fear, only believe.

-- Mark 5:36 (RSV)

LT: Hidden in Problems

Leaders know that often hidden in problems are some of the best opportunities—ones that we often miss because we only see them in a certain way, as problems.

Simulated Life

I've noticed...that, in the end, we don't want the simulated life—we want what is real, alive, and engaging.

Not A...

Throughout the first five centuries people understood Christianity primarily as a way of life in the present, not as a doctrinal system, esoteric belief, or promise of eternal salvation.

-- Diana Butler Bass

What Staring At A Screen All Day Is Doing To Your Brain And Body

The brain, the body and screens—it makes sense that what and how we take in the world has impact on how we exist, especially since we are fully integrated beings, not just a series of pieces and parts.

Visual: Textearth

Visual - "Textearth"

Glacier National Park, MT

Shared Threats

...when everyone around you is going negative. Your mammal brain wants to run when the rest of the herd runs. In the state of nature, you’d end up in the jaws of a predator if you ignored your group-mates’ threat signals and waited to see the threat for yourself. 

Mammals bond around shared threats, and fighting the common enemy raises a mammal’s status within its group. If you ignore the perceived threats that animate your group mates, you will probably pay the price in social rewards.

-- Loretta Breuning

Sound familiar?

Often Relative

Our sense of who we are is too often relative. We see or evaluate ourselves through the lens of how we see others (I'm not like that, I am like this, etc.), which is heavily influenced by how we think they see us. This is both true and dangerous.

LT: Natural Pattern

The journey of a leader is fraught with trials that reveal, test, and sharpen his / her spirit. There is a natural pattern to human growth. It is a trajectory from unconsciousness to consciousness to super consciousness.
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-- Fred Kofman

Looking For

Ever noticed...that we often don’t recognize certain things because of what we’re looking for?

Lose Our Vision

If we deny anyone their humanity, if we do not recognize everyone as a sister or brother, if we oppose others who are different and seek to dominate everything according to our group or nation, we disregard the Gospel and lose our vision. More fundamentally, we lose our humanity.

-- John Dear

Confronting Human Trafficking

Hotels are often on the frontlines of human trafficking.

It’s a horrific form of modern slavery that has entrapped more than 40 million people worldwide, according to the International Labour Organization.  The victims can find themselves in forced-labor or sex-trafficking situations.

I’ve spoken out about these crimes before and encouraged the hospitality and tourism industry to do what it can to stop these human rights abuses.

Two years ago, Marriott International made a decision to make human trafficking awareness training mandatory for all on-property associates ...continue here.

-- Arne Sorenson

The video included in the article referenced above underscores that it takes awareness, policy, and a shared commitment by all to work on this problem.

Another article this week references plans being put in place this SuperBowl weekend (though some click-bate myths also exist) and some of the larger realities of Atlanta in general.

On the Lighter Side: Weather Week

I've never seen the thermometer on my car hit -20 degrees before:

The Cabbage Butterfly

'Poem for the week' -- "The Cabbage Butterfly":

The human brain wants to complete—

The poem too easy? Bored. The poem too hard?
Angry. What’s this one about? Around the block
the easy summer weather, the picture-puff clouds
adrift in the blue sky that’s no paint-by-numbers.

In the corner garden, the cabbage butterfly
bothers the big leafy heads, trying to complete
its life cycle by hatching a horned monster to
chew holes in the green cloth manufactured so
laboriously by seed germ from air, water,
light, dirt. There’s no end to this, yes, no end.

Even when we want to stop, stop, stop! Even
when someone else calls us monster. Even when
we fear and hope that we will not have the final
word.

-- Minnie Bruce Pratt

While not consistent with this time of year, this poem touches the essence of many vectors of my experience this week.

And then, Tami graced me with these three words, “I trust you”, obliterating my sense of the accumulating monster within me.  How much do we all long to hear those words?