Need & Gratitude

Need and gratitude seem to be inextricably linked.

Numerous situations in the lives of friends lately (Sue Ford, Nathan and Julie Baker, Dave Marshall...), remind me that gratitude is among the most natural of responses to real need.  I know that my sense of gratitude has often peaked when my perceived need was the greatest.  When we are truly in need, we become so grateful, often for things in our lives that we otherwise take for granted.  Perhaps this is true because real need provides us opportunity to see how dependent we are (humility) and humility, in its purest form, ushers us to gratitude.

This 'nail' video is a relatively minor illustration of the point, the truth of which is often found in much more significant contexts:

Do On The Inside

What you do on the inside effects your brain and chemistry and blood and DNA much more than anything you can do on the outside.

I know many people who decide they will never be happy again. Never make money again. Never find romance again.  And, of course, there's no way to argue with them. It's often hard to listen to them. And eventually you avoid them. They will prove themselves right.

This is not law of attraction. Money doesn't rain down on the lucky (mostly) or the optimistic. But it certainly doesn't arrive at the doors of people who barricade their houses.

And it can't happen if you are stuck in bed. Or bloated with the enormity of your problems. Or satiated with the tiredness of your daily routine.

• Take a walk. Be a mover and not a statue.
• When you get tired, sleep instead of eat.
• Read books that are inspirational. For me, this helps rewire the brain for a few hours. It's hard at first. The brain tries to slap you: "I don't need rewiring", but for me it works.

-- James Altucher

They Really Are

We need to not only recognize things for how they feel, but also for how they really are.  At times, those can be quite different.

Beware of Full

Beware of a life that is full for too long; where there is no room, lack of space dulls important things in us.

Alms

What Kind of Pain: Hard & Holy

You’re meant to do hard & holy things because they are the next thing -- to get to the best thing.

It’s true, it’s hard, but there’s a brave hope in it:  Life is Pain -- and you get to choose: either the Pain of Discipline or the Pain of Disappointment.

Nothing happens without discipline. No music gets played without discipline. No games get won. No finish lines get crossed. No freedom gets tasted. And we want that.

It’s like my Dad always said:

• Brilliant doesn’t matter, if you can’t get out of bed.
• Talent doesn’t mean a thing, if you let Fear be some terrorist that takes you hostage.
• Potential doesn’t add up to anything, if you get addicted to perfectionism because perfectionism is slow death by self.

Yeah, there’s a brave, beautiful thing:  'Fire your Perfectionism; your Procrastination will quit too.’

-- Ann Voskamp

We just know, somewhere inside, that we are too easy on ourselves...just because we can be. When comfort is an option, we just choose (defer to) it.

29

This card snapshot pretty much captures what I feel today about our 29th wedding anniversary.  With a deep sense of gratitude, we are both better, because of each other.

Chicago: 'The Ribbon'

What a 'cool' place to go -- Chicago's 'the ribbon' in Maggie Daley Park.  A fun way to be with our kids and their friends:

Technology Fast

Technology is great. I have one of just about every gadget made. But we all know that our technology-enabled, full-on lives can get out of control. To enjoy the power of purpose, you need some “think time.” I book time in my calendar, turn off all my technology and just reflect on where I have been and the challenges and opportunities of the future.

Start slow. Take a one-hour technology fast and you will be amazed at the clarity of mind it will give you!

-- Bob Patton

...a little hard to (for me) to call one hour a 'fast'.  But, the point is still worthy of consideration; what is technology doing to us or, perhaps better said, what are we allowing it to do to us?

One reality of fasting is that it allows us to identify our real need (clarity).

I Thirst

You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water. 

-- ‭Psalm‬ ‭63‬:‭1‬

One reality of stopping is that it allows us to identify our real need.

Ash Wednesday: Allows Us To Stop

Busy stems from the fear of never being enough.

Busy covers our emptiness.

Busy says, I am in control.

-- Lara Casey

I am struck by these lines.  Ash Wednesday / Lent allows us the opportunity to acknowledge what being busy does not.

Where We Are Now

Let’s not be afraid to look at everything that has brought us to where we are now and trust that we will soon see in it the guiding hand of a loving God.

-- Henri Nouwen

True Strength

True strength is the courage to admit our weaknesses.

-- Simon Sinek

No Resource But In Strong Cryings and Tears

Sometimes the path of the Christian’s obedience becomes very difficult. It climbs upward; the gradient is continually steeper; the foothold ever more difficult; and, as the evening comes, the nimble climber of the morning creeps slowly forward on hands and knees. The day is never greater than the strength; but as the strength grows by use, the demands upon it are greater, and the hours longer. At last a moment may come, when we are called for God’s sake to leave some dear circle; to risk the lost of name and fame; to relinquish the cherished ambition of a life; to incur obloquy, suffering, and death; to drink the bitter cup; to enter the brooding cloud; to climb the smoking mount. Ah! then we too learn what obedience means; and have no resource but in strong cryings and tears.

-- F. B. Meyer, from The Epistle to the Hebrews

...not too fashionable an obedience these days.

4000 Lynchings

Click image for story....

The Other Person

Leaders who express anger, frustration and impatience—even in relatively small doses—may prompt action, but those emotions also drive their employees into states of fear and survival.

-- Tony Schwartz

Using fear as a motivation often translates as a threat to a team member’s self-worth, dignity or job security and that becomes a vicious circle: the more time and effort expended combating actual or perceived threats, the less time and energy remains to complete the task and the greater likelihood that there will be a negative outcome.

-- Michael Babikian

Acquire the skill to make another person feel as though what he or she is saying and doing is the only thing in the world that matters to you at this moment. It will enrich your life and strengthen your career.

-- Bruce Kasanoff

Emotionally Intelligent?

Data from the million-plus people TalentSmart has tested in order to identify the behaviors that are the hallmarks of people that have high EQ:

You Have a Robust Emotional Vocabulary
You’re Curious about People
You Embrace Change
You Know Your Strengths and Weaknesses
You Are Difficult to Offend
You Know How to Say No (to Yourself and Others)
You Let Go of Mistakes
You Give and Expect Nothing in Return
You Don’t Hold Grudges
You Don’t Seek Perfection
You Appreciate What You Have
You Disconnect
You Limit Your Caffeine Intake
You Get Enough Sleep
You Stop Negative Self-Talk in Its Tracks
...Continue.

-- Travis Bradberry

Liked

We often can't hear very much of someone's judgment of us, until something else is in place.  If, for example, we feel that we aren't liked or enjoyed...then a judgment often just feels like criticism.

But, being 'liked' by others isn't the constant we otherwise hope it would be and really seems to come-and-go (like feelings).  In the end, what we really have to know is that we are loved first, because love doesn't give way to the fickleness of the feelings of being liked (in fact, at times, we know there is good reason for us not to be liked or enjoyed).  When I know I am loved, however, I can listen to someone's perception of me...without being so threatened.

...otherwise, all I can do is peddle things that get you to like me.  ...which feels pretty undesirable to you.

When I know that I am loved, I don't need to be liked (...as much - smile).

Differences

Sometimes we seem to get frustrated that people won't act like us...it would just be a lot easier, if they would (smile).

These are great opportunities to be reminded that though we share a lot in common, people are different...they value different things because of who they are, how they were made, the experiences they have accumulated, etc.  And, acknowledging our differences can help make us better people and life more enjoyable.

Best Thinking

Often times our best thinking is done when our beliefs are being challenged.

-- Gregory Ciotti

CT: Following Jesus through Cancer - A Final Conversation with Steve Hayner

I’ve tried to be as transparent as possible about the rawness of this. But honestly, it has not been the rawness of wanting to shake my fist at God. It’s a rawness that this is a hard thing to face, and I’m doing the best I can to face the things God has called me to face today.

It’s the making of a new life and a new calling. But the calling is always to a life of joy. It’s always a calling to live into the dynamic overflowing life, which is God’s love for us and the joy that we know in Christ. I’m only five months into this, and it’s been a radical remodeling of my life with a new set of life experiences.

I’ve always said all the circumstances of my life are planned by the sovereign God to help me become what God wants me to be -- fully me. Now it’s a different set of circumstances, but it’s the same me needing to be formed.

We are all living into eternal life. Every day in the middle of our circumstances, we have the opportunity and the challenge to figure out what our calling that day is in relationship to the circumstances. In some ways I have to be swifter on my feet now. I have to be more flexible. I need to look at my life in shorter pieces. Most of the time these days. I can’t look at it in pieces much more than a day long. The question is not, What are my plans? The question is, How am I going to be faithful whatever the circumstances?  More here....

-- Steve Hayner

Begins To Die

He begins to die, that quits his desires.

-- George Herbert

Rich countries solved this problem decades ago, but now millions of poor people are dying from it

This year, industrialized countries will spend $10.4 billion helping poor countries cut carbon emissions and brace for the impact of climate change. Meanwhile, the world shells out tens of billions a year combating infectious diseases like HIV, malaria, and tuberculosis, spending which continues to rise.

What hardly anyone’s spending on is pollution -- even though it’s the most lethal force on the planet, killing nearly 8.9 million people in 2012, the last year for which there was data. Here’s how unnatural causes of death stack up globally...continue.

Growth Factor

There are many factors which influence our growth, but if I had to pick one, it would be the willingness to try...and to keep trying.

Practice

Knowledge is a treasure, but practice is the key to it.

-- Thomas Fuller

You May Delay

You may delay, but time will not.

-- Ben Franklin

Interesting notes from the World Economic Forum Annual Meeting:

Regarding Europe: The Finnish Finance Minister was blunt, “Stop the illusion that the public sector creates growth. All of the growth comes from the private sector. All we can do in government is structural reform, infrastructure, trade and education of workers."

Regarding Technology: For the first time, I heard genuine opposition to the power and attitude of the technology sector. It came in several forms, starting with privacy and protection of personal data.

Regarding Climate Change: I felt a much more optimistic tone about climate change at this Davos than in previous years. The hot breath of next November’s meeting in Paris is on each nation’s neck. The U.S. deal on carbon with China was seen as a major plus.

Agriculture and Food Security:  The key to the problem is the improvement of output from the family farm, which accounts for 70 percent of total output. Food experts suggest a two-pronged strategy. First, the efficiency of the small holder farmer who is working one-to-two hectares must increase. 

Media and Entertainment:  Some of the mainstream media owners expressed discomfort with their born-digital competitors who “use speed at the expense of facts and scale at the expense of depth,” with the motive of monetizing larger audiences. 

Rising Inequality of Income:  The Oxfam report on the first day of Davos said that 1 percent of the world controls as much of the assets as half of the world. The thesis is that with such concentration of wealth, the growth of economy is stunted by lower propensity to consume. 

Continue...

Guns, Steel, Grit, and Grief

The story line of this tragedy is almost unbearably heart rending.

I can’t speak to Dr. Davidson’s character corresponding to that good face, but others can, and have. According to colleagues, he was one of the greats, the kind of doctor every medical student wants to be, and the kind of doctor every patient wants to have. By all accounts, including those of patients, he was deeply caring. He was thoughtful, expressive, and clear. Peers credit him with the grit to wield the steel of scalpels in situations where other surgeons would balk, great surgical skill, the brilliance of innovation, and an extraordinary work ethic.

In addition, Dr. Davidson had a life outside the hospital. That life, according to the Boston Globe, included a wife -- also a physician -- and 3 children; with another on the way. That baby, of course, will now never meet his/her father.

And there’s more. The shooter, who also took his own life, left behind a complicated legacy of love, anguish and disbelief. He had four grown children, and siblings, who say he was nothing but a good guy who was devastated by the death of his mother, with whom he was very close. Rightly or wrongly, he blamed his mother’s death on an adverse reaction to medication, and rightly or wrongly, he apparently implicated Dr. Davidson in the use of that medication.  Continue....

-- David L. Katz, MD, MPH

Neglecting Time

Overloading is often what we do when we forget who God is. It is time for us to breathe and build margin into our lives for God. By neglecting time for tranquility, serenity, and repose, we limit our Christ-likeness and miss out on some of God’s greatest gifts.

-- Priscilla Shirer, Breathe