I didn't know who I really was until I could no longer define who I was by what I did. It was when I thought I wasn't good enough to do anything, that I learned who I really was. I am not what I do. I am whose I am.
My acceptance of myself was really based on what I did and how well I did it and that was largely based on how others evaluated what I did. But when others abandoned that process, I really didn't know who I was any longer. All I had was theories about life, about myself, but no real belief...because my acceptance of myself was based on the acceptance of others.
My employment situations a few years ago were a big part of both sides of these realities. The irony is that it was when I lost the identity I had through my employments that I really began to learn where my acceptance was really found...not in what I did or accomplished, not in what others said about me. It was in the acceptance I had in God, regardless of what I was or was not doing...even when it appeared that I was doing nothing.
I learned this through nearly 2 long (yet relatively short) years of not being able to understand myself through what I accomplished in the eyes of the world. And, I am eternally grateful for the true identity I found during this time.
I particularly enjoy the way Henri Nowen puts things...regarding our identity..
