Sometimes you can try so hard not to fall...that you actually end up falling.
In other words, sometimes trying to keep something from happening actually makes it happen.
I’m 63 years old now, and I’ve noticed that my awareness of the possibility of falling has been increasing of late. Maybe this is normal. But, even if it isn’t, it struck me the other day after attempting to ride my grandson’s skateboard, at his behest (who, by the way, uses the word behest?), that my sense of balance was in play and that I probably needed to consider who’s favor that balance was most likely to serve. So, while I still wanted to do it, I knew I should really think about some possibilities (ok, likelihoods).
I suspect that while this one was fairly happenstance, it was being informed by a recent hike in Hawaii that involved some rather treacherous terrain. Certain spots specifically seemed to prompt me internally to go slow and be careful. A couple, in fact, were much closer to something like 'I’m not sure I can do this'.
I was aware, at the time, that other hikers seem to breeze through some of these spots (not pausing to shuffle-slide their way through them). I’ve noticed in other similar situations that sometimes the very pace of your movement seems to help with any precariousness that seems to be involved. Moving quickly, without waiting to test every possibility first, can be a preferred approach. But, here I was staring it down, inching my way forward…poised to turn back at any moment.
I was also becoming more keenly aware that the prospect of weighing out moving forward or not, was wearing me out. I wasn’t even enjoying the hike anymore (for all the reasons that a good hike typically supplies). If nothing else, the effort was starting to feel like a significant waste of energy.
As I reflect on these two situations now, I wonder how true that is in a number of domains of life, not just the physical ones. Besides, most of the time, learning to respect your limitations is not an unwise posture overall.
But, trying not to fall in life seems to (though still logical) create an unintended endgame. It tends to lead to a general stance of risk-avoidance and mitigates both the option to consider alternative approaches and opportunities to experience things you otherwise never would…when simply trying not to fall becomes your goal.
When we were younger, we didn’t seem to anticipate falling as much as we do after a lifetime of experience. We just fall, skin our knee a few times, and then get back up and keep going. I'm guessing that some of this disposition could continue to serve us well.
Perhaps a happy medium is a little bit of both — acknowledge our limitations and take a few risks now and then.
Either way, simply trying not to fall is not a particularly complete strategy for living our lives.
